Hello...it's me

For those of you that don't know me let me introduce myself.. I'm a 45 year old mother of 7.. (3 bio, 3 step and 1 beautiful special needs bonus child (bio granddaughter but mine by heart and guardianship)... I'm going to be 46 this year and I'm still struggling to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I'm happily married (10 years this August) and my youngest bio daughter (15) is still at home with us as is Madilyn.  Madilyn's 5 and chronically ill... she's a medically complex, one of a kind ball of sass.  So much sass that she has her own blog...  Shyanne, my 15 year old is beautiful and a teenager (need I really say more?).. we're actually really lucky because she's a good kid and I'm sure I'll be sharing stories about her (much to her dismay)... Thomas is my 20 year old son, my angel boy between my two hellion girls.  He lives and works in another state and makes this momma very proud.  My oldest daughter lives in another state also and is married with two beautiful little girls (she's also Madilyn's birth mom).. I love her with all of my heart but our relationship is strained at best... we'll leave it at that for now....  both of my stepdaughters are busy raising families and my stepson is 19 and learning to navigate adulthood... and my hubby, my wonderful, tolerant, understanding hubby is an elementary school teacher and a musician.  He absolutely (usually) brings out the best in me (and sometimes the crazy if we're being honest) and I would be completely lost without him.. it took me a really long time and more than a few mistakes but I finally got it right with him and for that I am very thankful.  So honey, remember how much I love you when I bitch about you or something that hasn't been done  😙.

I am a self proclaimed control freak and a constant work in progress.  I'm a mommy and wife most importantly, an accountant by degree, and a waitress by choice, and a smart ass by birthright, thanks dad.  I don't do well with sitting still and being a medical momma gets lonely so being a waitress gives me my social fix and income at the same time, plus I get to meet new people.  We moved to a new state this past summer to be closer to Madilyn's doctor's and to say it's been difficult to get out and meet people is an understatement.  We are finally on the last stretch to getting respite care so this mommy may get to have some adult evenings out and the life of the party that's been dormant for the past five years may get to show her fun face again...(here's hoping anyway).  It's been 3 years since I've had a date night with the hubby...it's time...

I'm sure at some point in my writing journey I'm going to offend someone, I always do.  I try to convince myself sometimes that I have learned some tact as I've gotten older but in all honesty, no, it's just not there.  I often say stuff and then go "oh shit, I did it again", I just did it last night at work.  I will give myself kudos for being smart enough to sometimes catch it and apologize for the way something comes out of my mouth.  I tell it like it is, sorry (not really) if that hurts your feelings but this isn't about you.  I will make fat jokes and references and I'm not shaming anyone or pointing fingers, I'm simply talking about myself.  Profanity... I fucking love it... anyone who knows me knows that "are you fucking kidding me?" comes out of my mouth a million times per day and this is about me so I'm sure it'll come out in my writing too.  It's okay, I'm an adult and I give myself permission to use the word fuck, even on the internet.

I won't discuss/debate politics or religion, I will offend you at some point but hopefully it'll be entertaining for all of us.  I recently started the journey of cutting white flour and sugar out of my diet.  My doctor says I live a very stressful life and I have zero metabolism plus I tend to love food so I over indulge and the size of my ass proves it so I've started a journey to exercise regularly and cut out some of the bad stuff.  You guys will be hearing plenty about it and if I feel really brave at some point I'll even post the horrific pictures I took of myself on day 1.  They're beyond words... 4 years ago I was 41 and wearing a bikini and now I have 40 plus pounds to lose.  The belly button ring I still wear is currently lost in a roll of fat but I'm hopeful I will see it again someday.

Enough now, intro is over and I am off to put the little girl in her stroller and go for a walk.  The sun is shining and it's almost 40 degrees outside.  Until next time.....